The Loud Whisper Takeover
Featuring interviews with actors, stunts, dancers, filmmakers, action movie directors, athletes, Krav Maga teachers, acting coaches, and more.
Epic tales of changemakers, authentic personal stories, and top tips about the industry, the podcast is a treasure of knowledge helping storytellers of all kinds on their own journeys, and inspiring people to take action upon their own dreams.
Ever heard your inner voice getting louder and louder, urging you towards a new path? When our inner guidance starts to become so loud, we can no longer ignore it, and we MUST take action... This is often a time when life changes direction drastically. We are literally being called to take that leap of faith, make that phone call, write that script, make that film in other words, time to embrace our wildest dreams, shift gear, and grow exponentially.
Let's dive into the art of listening courageously to our inner compass. Because every one of us is destined to live a grand story and adventure while walking on planet Earth!
Headphones on, notebooks out, and buckle up!
Hosted by Cindy Claes.
The Loud Whisper Takeover
15: Krav Maga and a Nervous System that feels Safe
Our host and action actress Cindy Claes has been on an intense Krav Maga (self-defense) journey. Initially training to perfect her fighting skills for the camera, it soon evolved into a transformative experience of emotional resilience. Many questions started to arise. She experienced tears in the training sessions, as well as a huge amount of love.
Join our conversation with Sergej Krivoruchko as we unravel the profound and unexpected connections between his Krav Maga journey and his new life in Bulgaria: a quest of calming the nervous system. How can Krav Maga and self-defense go beyond physical safety to become a journey of emotional healing and personal growth?
Sergej, founder of Authentic Bulgaria, shares his compelling story of finding security and safety within, first through Krav Maga and then by moving to Bulgaria. After running a Krav Maga club in Knokke, he left the busy bubbling cities of Belgium (or the concrete jungles as he calls it), and is now on a mission to create safe environments by taking people on tours in the wonders of Bulgaria.
Our conversation focuses on the calming of the nervous system, the finding of a community we belong to, and our body sensations when getting out of our comfort zones. Krav Maga and Sergej's new life in Bulgaria share this importance of needing to feel secure both physically and emotionally. Sergej's journey of belonging in a new society is a very special and mindful one.
Contact guest:
@sergej_bulgaria
@authentic.bulgaria.tours
Want to send Cindy Claes a DM?
Let's continue the conversation on Instagram:
Cindy Claes - Host
@cindy_claes
Loud Whisper VZW - Producers
@loudwhispervzw
Join the community:
Buy Me A Coffee VIP Zone
Welcome to the Loud Whisper Takeover podcast. Today we will talk about Krav Maga, which is a self-defense practice, and have a special guest with me because I want to actually explore what Krav Maga has to do with love, compassion and personal development. I give you a little bit of context. I started Krav Maga as an action actress, thinking I will learn some self-defense things, because there are elements of boxing, brazilian jiu-jitsu we learn to defend ourselves against weapons and as an action actress, those are great skills to have. However, during training, you'll learn things that go against your instinct of not wanting to harm other people. I started crying many times in class. I did not expect that, and another journey began. I became aware that there was physical healing that was taking place on a cellular level. I became present to. I was learning about giving and receiving love and being in the presence of supportive masculine energy. I met an amazing human being in Bulgaria. He is organizing outdoor survival in Krav Maga camps in forests and mountains the mountains of Bulgaria. He's dedicated to creating safe spaces for groups that he takes with him on these journeys. He is really dedicated to create spaces where there is respect, responsibility, integrity. There's a lot of self-reflection going on. He is the founder of Authentic Bulgaria.
Speaker 1:Sergei Bulgaria. Welcome. Welcome, sergei. How are you doing?
Speaker 2:That's a great introduction. We can stop the podcast now. It was the great, the greatest introduction. Yeah, I cannot any add anything. So, yeah, my name is sergey bulgaria. I'm currently a tour guide in bulgaria and organize small-scale tours in rural bulgaria for people who are fed up with, uh, you know, the mass tourism and when they go on a holiday they don't want to be treated like a number. So I bring them to places off the beaten track so they can feel seen and welcome. And currently I don't teach Krav Maga because I'm injured, injured, but sometimes there are some Krav Maga elements in the tours that are organized, because it's only sightseeing is sometimes a bit boring, so people can can let the let off the steam awesome, and so we will talk about your tours in Bulgaria as well, because there's something very beautiful about it.
Speaker 1:But first, maybe for listeners that don't really know what Krav Maga is, can we give them a little bit of an explanation of how you see what Krav Maga is. Can we give them a little bit of an explanation of how you see what Krav Maga is? Because, also, you are that guy that loves cuddling cats. You are a cuddler, you love kindness, you're a very compassionate human being. Yet you became a Krav Maga practitioner. You had a Krav Maga club as well in Belgium when you used to live in Belgium. Yeah, how do you see Krav Maga and you know its relationship to violence, perhaps, and how you, as a very kind guy, got involved into that yeah, I think maybe people can relate.
Speaker 2:I grew up in a small village at the seaside, very, very cozy, in Belgium, and then I, when I turned 18, 19, I had to study in a big city, antwerp and antwerp is a very noisy city. A lot of things are happening at the same time and me I went with my naive personality. I went into the big city and I didn't know what a university was because I had to go to my first day and I looked around and I wanted to ask people, but I didn't feel safe and I never had this feeling like why I don't, why I don't feel safe.
Speaker 2:And then I see all these people, loud, outgoing, and and yeah, not so polite or friendly than in cozy village, where I grew up. I experienced a lot of unsafety in my body and I didn't want to have this. I wanted to feel safe again. So then I started the journey like, okay, what should you do when you don't feel safe? Maybe you should do some boxing, whatever, I want to do some taekwondo. But I feel like I felt like in a realistic situation on the streets, when there's a big guy coming up to you, what should you do? I really wanted to know what I should do, what I could do in this kind of situation.
Speaker 2:So then came Krav Maga, and Krav Maga was for me, the right thing to learn at that time because I really wanted to know like things that are common, handy, like very useful, effective on the streets. So no, blah, blah. And okay, I subscribed in my first class and I was a bit intimidated by the big guys, obviously, because they were like they weren't talking a lot and they were like very big and my first class like hello, harry, nate, hello, how are you? And there was some guys, ukrainian guys, and they say hello, you know hello. And they just did the exercise.
Speaker 2:We did the exercise, but they were not nice to me, they were just it was you know how Kramagai. It's very realistic. It depends which which Kramaga. It's very realistic, it depends which Kramaga class you're attending to. But it was full contact, so that meant half the class, a lot of blueses, pain, aches. But I said to myself like I really like this. And then my journey started and after 10 years I decided to start my own club in Knokke. But now I moved to Bulgaria so my club doesn't exist anymore. But yeah, the hands-on thing what to do in a situation where you don't feel safe it should be taught in school.
Speaker 1:Actually, that's my opinion, opinion, and so you were talking about the fact that you didn't feel safe in the big city. Was it a true sense of not feeling physically safe, or was it both emotional and physical? What did you?
Speaker 2:think. I think it's both. It's an end story due to personal. Everyone has his own story. Traumas, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:It's a big thing now, but some things are true about trauma and, yeah, as well, physically never did, only did some soccer, played some soccer, but never was into this. It's a small world, this martial art world. Maybe I'm generalizing, but everyone has tattoos, has a bald head, a haircut and looks aggressive. Yeah, like you that's me. You don't look aggressive. But, yeah, the big tough guy, typical tough guy and yeah, I'm not that guy, but I still wanted to learn how to defend myself and it didn't stop with the crowd maga did some wrestling, did some bjj boxing, so it's. But that's what's crowd maga all about. You don't want to um, you know you don't want to to show off what your skills. You want to show to the outside world that you know you. You're not a fighter. But when they make a problem, then, yeah, they feel it inside that they feel this calm energy, and so they don't want pick you as a victim on the streets or whatever. It's very important, it's about energy as well. They, yeah, they choose the prey, the what do you call?
Speaker 1:called someone who's yeah, the prey their target but the one who is hunting, the hunter yeah, the bad guy, I don't know that's called the bad guy.
Speaker 2:They have, like a sensor, microseconds. They can see whether you're an easy victim or not and they check everything. It's based upon microseconds. They can see whether you're an easy victim or not and they check everything. It's based upon microseconds. Where they have this sensor and it's okay, okay, no, this is a not so easy target. This is a crazy woman. This is a crazy girl. Oh, let's find another one. So it starts with that and I felt that back in the days like I was easy target.
Speaker 1:I want to just bounce back on a few things that you've said. So, first of all, would you agree if I summarize what Krav Maga could be for those that have never really seen it in action? Number one is self-defense, so it's not about attacking. It's if a threat is coming to you, you know how to respond. Number two it's about de-escalating first. If you can avoid any problems, you avoid it at all costs. Number three is it's not about fighting and staying in the fight for minutes or hours. It's how can I basically give one punch, two punches, but how can I, as fast as possible, learn a technique where I neutralize or hit my opponent and I have just the time to run away? Would that be something that summarizes it well?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's correct, and nowadays you see a lot of YouTube videos which are quite spectacular, but that's not the case. I attended the school, european Krav Maga Academy in Antwerp, and the owner, luc van Laar, is a very no-nonsense guy, so he doesn't care about stripes, about anything, he just wants to. You know, he just wants to get the deal done and the deal is to come out of safe, out of a potential threatening situation. So it's not only the physical part, it is as well de-escalation and that's a lot of. That's verbally as well and psychologically as well, because you have to, you have to act under pressure, and this is you have to train this in a realistic way. You cannot only talk about it, and that's why a lot of people don't want to go to a Krav Maga class because, yeah, they want to learn the stuff, but in a very innocent way.
Speaker 2:If the club, the Karmagak club, is a safe environment, that means that the instructor should always check every person if they are training, because it's full contact. If someone's hit or someone has a trauma reaction or whatever, they should stop the class. You can push yourself a little bit, that's true, but it has a lot to do with the trauma reactions of the body as well and, in my opinion, a lot of instructors in the past. They don't take into this into consideration. They only want to have the yeah, the Superman badass. It's not only about that. It's maybe 30, 40%. It's about the physical part and about the legal part of the role. What if, if you hit someone on the head and you run away and this person is injured for the rest of her life, you should pay, whatever the cameras did you hit first. So these are all serious things to take into consideration and that's why it's not only hitting on a ball or on a pad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we learn techniques that literally, like you say, can harm or hurt people for life, or they could be blind forever, or even, like Krav Maga, can teach you these tools as well. It's to be taken very precautiously and there's a lot of responsibility that comes with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So that's why, if you're into self-defense, go to a Krav Maga club. However, always stay true to yourself and feel whether you feel safe enough, intuitively, with the instructor and the atmosphere, and it should be realistic. There are a couple of bullet points, criteria for a decent Krav Maga, and it doesn't stop with the Krav Maga. If I would have done only Krav Maga without at least have some wrestling or BJJ experience, you have to know what's going on nowadays with the young people.
Speaker 1:And I just want to clarify the jargon for people that maybe are less familiar with martial arts.
Speaker 2:So BJJ is Brazilian jiu-jitsu in case some listeners don't know it yeah, sometimes we call like if you see two men cuddling on the mat, it's probably bjj women.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, I would not bounce back on the fact that you were talking about trauma reactions of the body because, as I said, I started krav maga as an actress, wanting to learn stuff for my action acting movies. I've started crying many times in class and it's especially sparring, so freestyle fighting right. So all of a sudden the teacher says, okay, here we go for one minute or 30 seconds, let's go. It's soft sparring, but still I have my reaction Like there was something on a cellular level that I cannot control, that came out, that I had to become aware of, and so now there's a new journey of healing that is starting with it. Have you had to overcome any challenges on the beginning of your journey or when you had your club in knokke?
Speaker 2:in belgium.
Speaker 1:Have you seen or experienced something alike with students, maybe that you could share or want?
Speaker 2:to share. A lot of times people freeze or a lot. Most of the times people say the people my niche, the, my target audience were the people were more a bit more shy, introverted and people who thought that they would never learn a martial art in their life because they're like nothing for me and they're only the tough guys. This was my target audience. And then most of the time people said yeah, but I don't want to hurt the other person. But then I emphasized that okay, this is a safe environment, you don't have to hit the person, but at least train your memory muscle to hit the person or touch the person when you hit, and hitting should be on places which are affected.
Speaker 2:If I hit a wrestler in his stomach, 100 kilograms BJJ or a wrestler in his stomach, he would just laugh and he would say, oh, that's nice, but if I go with my hands or fingers into the ice which, by the way, you can't train or go to the groin hit to the groin to his groin, that's a different story. And most of the times women as well, like I'm not a woman, so I cannot talk for a woman. But a lot of times women said, told me like yeah, I can't do anything because I'm, you know, one meter 60 and 50 kilograms. What can I do to this, to this, to the aggressor, but believe me, using the go with your nails in my eyes?
Speaker 2:it's over yeah, what would I do? What would be my reaction? So it would my natural reaction would go to with my hands to the ice and maybe have some tears and two or three minutes I can't see anything recently, but that gives you time to run away and these kind of stuff. You should just train and when, but they don't teach you. This is cool, and a lot of times you, we should decondition ourselves because we're taught not to hurt anyone and which is good. But as you know, the world is not only, doesn't only exist out of a good guy.
Speaker 1:There are bad guys as well yeah, and, like you said, hitting another person is so confronting. So, first of all, inspiring the freestyle fighting, that's when I get triggered. But also when I have to. You don't hit the other person but you go as close as to reality possible without hurting them. But even that, tears are falling down my cheeks. And there is something else that I've experienced in Krav Maga. I've been talking about women.
Speaker 1:I felt so held by masculine energy in Krav Maga classes, because my friends that don't do Krav Maga, they imagine that it's a lot of tough guys that go to Krav Maga and actually it's a lot of teddy bears that are full of kindness that just learn these techniques as well, because maybe they were introverts or they absolutely know the fighting guys.
Speaker 1:But then what's happening in the classes? They have to be the bad guys for us, the women, so that we can practice, because if I fight a woman that is 50 kilograms, I will never actually be ready if something was to happen in the street. But the guy with the big arms in class is going to have to do as if he's attacking me, and I know it's confronting for them. They don't want to do that to a woman, even in a class environment. It's challenging for them, but they have to do it in order to serve us, the feminine energy in the space. And there, for me, there is like beauty behind it. You know, and that's the first time I experienced such a thing, you know, like it, it's sort of yeah, it's very interesting yeah, it's very, because that depends as well on which society you grew up in.
Speaker 2:For instance, in bulgaria, if you talk about masculine or or feminine energy, they would look, they would like. What are you talking about? Because here the conservative, these traditional values, where the guy, the man, protects the woman, is quite normal. And it's normal because when you live in a rural country, in the rural countryside, it's about sometimes the guys, the men, is just better at doing the heavy work and if they see a bear or whatever, normally the guy should go first and not the woman to protect the woman, not the other way around.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about these bears in Bulgaria when we're going to start addressing the camps you organized, because there is also a whole thing around that. So let's talk about Krav Maga teachers first. First, because you were emphasizing on the fact that we should find a good teacher.
Speaker 1:Like I actually started, I actually tried nine krav maga clubs wow I tried seven in person and two I had a phone call with, and it's when I met my teacher in Barcelona. I was like he's my maestro. He is an incredible man with, so he has a very high level of emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1:He knows how to create safe spaces. He's incredible in terms of technique. But there is so much more happening in the class technique, but there is so much more happening in the class. So can you talk a little bit more about having and still, you're still a teacher because there are still some krav maga in your retreats right now but having had your club, what is for you or what was for you very important as a krav maga teacher that you're like, I had to bring that to the space. That is non-negotiable.
Speaker 2:You talked about acting before in the Chroma Class. This is very important, people, and this comes in handy for you Because, people, if you imitate a scenario, you play a scenario where you have a scenario where a woman is walking along the alley and there are two guys who are asking her for some money, and you know how it goes, like what time is it and it's 9 pm, it's dark, it's winter time, it's maybe in barcelona or antwerp and we start the, the play. So this play, this scenario, it's very important to to play it realistically and be serious about that.
Speaker 2:No, you cannot say oh so no, it's worse, for it was laughing. I was like no, you should play seriously to have a good training. So that's very important. And the question about the teacher was the instructor, what should?
Speaker 1:be what is a non-negotiable for you as a teacher. Like that you really should bring to the space, so that you are a good teacher or that you are the best support for your students possible yeah, of course.
Speaker 2:First of all, it's not about me. I don't have to prove anything. I'm not the strongest guys in the world, I will never be, so it's about the ego thing, first of all. And second, realism. It should be very realistically, and that means pressure, full contact and no nonsense. So sometimes it's not. You have to yeah, just always be in tune with with the group, because you can say, like now we have a class where it's only combatives and you really have to hit. Yeah, but if you see that people don't feel safe or they're like, oh, it's not for me, then okay, maybe you can push them a little bit. But if they say like we don't want this, then you should listen to that as well. It's not always combatives or techniques, but it's about other stuff as well. Yeah, like the pre-assault cues of a potential aggressor. What are the signs where you should look for when there's a threat? A lot of people are not in tune with their body, so they don't see the potential threats.
Speaker 1:The pre-assault cues, yeah, you were talking about actually the fact that aggressors have micro-sensors. Yeah so what are a few examples you could give about us becoming aware?
Speaker 2:oh, this is making me a target if I behave this way or show this side of myself, or whatever yes, first of all, you have to acknowledge that you never would hurt a person like that never, for no reason. But there are crazy people who do this and this is the first realization that that there's a big difference in this mentality. So you should acknowledge that, okay, okay, I would never do that, but there are people that would do this, so that's very important to acknowledge that so what are the micro sensors that they have and what are the micro behaviors maybe that we portray, that make us a target?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so have you ever felt uncomfortable in a fitness, in a gym or in an elevator? You have this very uncomfortable feel when there's a new person or coming passing by. Have you ever felt?
Speaker 1:no, but I do have that very often when I walk in the streets of brussels yes, okay.
Speaker 2:So we have an example. Okay, it's not the fitness, but you okay this kind of feeling. When you have this uncomfortable feeling, we often tend to and we are angry at ourselves, like why do I feel this? I don't want to feel this. Oh no, it's not true. And this person is just following me and maybe it's not. He's just looking for a vet for his cat or whatever. And we always try to in our head, try to downplay, downsize our intuition, what our body is telling us. But it should be the opposite. We should listen to it instead of just it's, it's fine, I trust it. The guy is he's fine, he's fine, but your body is like red flag, red flag, he's like no. So first of all, yeah, listen to your, to the body, when it's giving signals which, if it's not okay for you and you can run away from the situation, and these kind of things are not. I don't know whether it's deliberate, they are not taught to us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we are on the loud whisper takeover podcast. It's all about intuition. Nourish it, listen to it. It is giving signals that we cannot ignore correct.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's not rocket science, it's just. But nowadays it's all about therapy and words and but if I'm on the streets and if I see two guys and I don't trust it, I just cross the street. And it's not because I'm a Krav Maga guy, like I see those two guys, I can handle them. No, I just cross over the street. I don't want to have any trouble, I don't want to have a potential trouble, I just want to go. Yeah, I want to be safe and go home.
Speaker 1:So Krav maga, self-defense, surviving in hostile environments that could be a city, a country, a particular moment. You're also organizing outdoor survival camps and that's another kind of survival. Can you tell us more about what we actually do in those camps? So it was our trips in bulgaria and how you also add some, or sprinkle some Krav Maga in it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the tours that I organized in Bulgaria, they are not really outdoor survival. I mainly organized these camps in Belgium. So it was a combo Krav Maga and outdoor survival which is, in my opinion, a very synergetic combination. And yeah, now in Bulgaria I'm planning to organize these trips, but I'm still because bulgaria is a very wild country, very untouched nature, a lot of nature. So first of all, I want to get to know the place better first if I want to start organizing these, these camps. But I do organize for expat, digital nomads or just Bulgarians here, workshops for two, three hours how to make a fire, how to? Just an introduction of Krav Maga.
Speaker 1:Did I also see on your Instagram something about bears. Are there bears in Bulgaria, right?
Speaker 2:There are currently more than a thousand bears in Bulgaria and most of the time they're more scared of humans than we are scared of. We should be scared of them. Most of the times when they hear us they run away. But if they're hungry and they should feed the cubs and you should meet them, then it's not a pleasant situation. But yeah, you have more risk for getting in a car accident, to die in a car accident, than to die from a bear attack.
Speaker 1:So we should not be scared to come on your tours and your trips, because bears are definitely not a threat.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. But there are some things which which you can take into consideration, like if you want to go wild camping, yeah, if you have like 10 sausages in your camp, don't you be surprised that maybe there are like wild boars or wolves in your tent and maybe a bear?
Speaker 1:it's about common sense, actually, and so you sprinkle some krav maga activities sometimes in in your tent and maybe a bear. It's about common sense, actually, and so you sprinkle some Krav Maga activities sometimes in your current trips, but you're using it for fun. You told me how are you incorporating it for fun, Like? How is it like a team building exercise or what are you doing with it?
Speaker 2:I go in Bulgaria, we visit places which are off the beaten track and a lot of these places are archaeological tombs or from the traitions or from ancient civilizations, and these kind of places are very overwhelming and it takes time to process them, and sometimes I give like a pat and people can hit on the pat just to let off some steam. I don't know if you say this in english, but in dutch you say this a storm of latin, but do you say yeah, and I think this is perfect combination, that you have some moment for yourself, you have downtime, you can be on your own, you can, yeah, contemplate, you can gaze into the wild, and sometimes it's a mix, in my opinion, of all these different kinds of activities which makes it a full circle for the experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love how you present that, because going into another country there is a lot of new stimulus, new language, new culture, culture, things to take in being outside of your comfort zone and I am a big meditator, but you're right, like there are moments, actually something that is very physical that makes you sweat. It's also a way of processing and digesting information, or yeah, that's, that's.
Speaker 2:That was only like. Now they call it holistically to be like an holistic way, but I always I'm not into one thing. I think life should be explored in many different ways. I like to play music, I like to dance, I like to, I mean fight, I mean train how to defend myself. That maybe that's a better explanation.
Speaker 2:And enjoy nature and yeah, these kind of things are affecting in my my trips. Yeah it that it shouldn't be focused only mainly on one thing, or like only on the trations, or only bulgaria it's about yeah, we can.
Speaker 2:It's about being together, the food, it's about everything, and uh, that's why, and and this way, people feel more safe, because nothing is required of them, it's nothing. We can let go of all these roles that we play, and that's why people love these kind of trips, because they feel like, wow, they feel themselves, first of all, and then second, they feel accepted just the way they are.
Speaker 1:In your Instagram posts. It's like undeniable how your soul and your heart is vibrating and is being touched by bulgarian culture, bulgarian people, bulgarian nature. Why did you move to bulgaria and what was that moment where you thought you know what that's it. I gotta pack my bags and bulgaria it is. I have to move. I cannot stay in belgium. I have to move.
Speaker 2:Yeah my name is.
Speaker 2:I have different backgrounds I know I have canadian roots, romanian roots, ukrainian or russian, whatever. Belgium, dutch, everything from norway. I always knew from a kid, from when I was little, yeah, that I wanted to move to another country because belgium for me was a bit too boring, it was too small and and there was not a lot of nature in belgium. So and I always thought that, okay, I want to move to spain, because spain was for me, like, yeah, I want to be like a don, like a don on a finca and have my oranges and my, my olive trees and vineyard, whatever. But then this pandemic hit and things started to change and I want to have more peace, more a bit more freedom. I want to experience more nature untouched, which is like wild nature, not just some parks or whatever, but wild nature and mountains, and where you can feel lost and feel human again and where the human, the natural elements, are still in command. And I booked a ticket for Spain in 2022, and five days prior, something I don't know what, maybe YouTube, like promoting Bulgaria, whatever and then I booked a ticket for Bulgaria instead of Spain.
Speaker 2:I went first three days in Bulgaria. I was like what the hell? These people are very cold and like typical Balkan people when you ask them something, they're just like it's there. You ask them something, it's there. They don't laugh. Then when you start to know them, you see that actually they're very warm, they're very genuine, they're very authentic and I like this more than the more general american like, hi, how are you? And I'm generalizing, of course. But the bulgarians, like they, have a very it's a crossroad. It's crossroad from east, west and all different kind of culture, and I think that's a reflection of who I'm actually. I'm not. You cannot pinpoint me for one nationality. And I went to bond school five days after I took the train from burgos. That's a reflection of who I am Actually. I'm not. You cannot pinpoint me for one nationality. And I went to Bansko five days after I took the train from Burgas. That's a seaside. And then, yeah, I fell in love with Bansko.
Speaker 2:On the first day that arrived I said, okay, I'm going to move here, I'm going to live here, and then I went back, took my car. In three days I drove to Bulgaria and I started without a plan, which is not advisable. But, yeah, I started even my own business. But I was so scared in the beginning because I didn't know anything, I did not know anyone, I didn't know how to start a business, especially in Bulgaria. Come on, it's a serial alphabet and no network, no business idea plan.
Speaker 2:But I told myself, okay, if I want to really integrate in this country, I should do things differently than the average expat, which means avoiding speaking English.
Speaker 2:Now I speak English with Bulgarian accent, which is quite normal because I only speak Dutch or Bulgarian nowadays, but I do it on purpose, because I don't want to. Yeah, I want to really integrate, which means learning the language, and Geren is a different, difficult language, but as well, yeah, networking with local, with the local population. And what I see a lot of people do is that they yeah the comfort zones and say they see people who speak English and they and they, they, they stay and they speak english, or they go to the expert community, which is very normal because it's safety. It's about safety again, and people want to feel safe and they want to feel they want to see familiar things. So what I did is I went into the fear, into the combats, like you did on training, and, yeah, nowadays I can communicate with the people. I started to like a madman. I started to study Bulgarian every day, like at least for an hour, and I look like, go to YouTube buying a lot of different books, the best online classes.
Speaker 1:So it's that's the other thing that I'm doing yeah, but you had this intuition, like literally the first day you arrived in bulgaria.
Speaker 2:You were like, yeah, I'm gonna move here yeah, and not the first day, first two days like these are weird people. They are so cold and warm in in in the same, at the same, in the same way. A lot of people, I think, have this first impression of bulgarians that are quite distant and a bit weird. They're not the best, they don't have this typical western service oriented way of doing things, but they're quite service oriented in, but in theirs, in their way, in their authentic way. Yeah, like the local market in bansko.
Speaker 2:The local markets with like the fresh fruit and like people are super gentle and kind and yeah it's like they're almost sharing, like the vegetables from their garden in the market and they, they don't talk, but you give you a present or one of their vegetables that they grew in their own garden, and this, this, these things are for me they, they represent more than, uh, just words.
Speaker 1:Yeah and also the love for animals. Like barnsco is full of street dogs, full of street cats, but they somehow belong to everyone, like they will feed them as well, and there is like a sense of community around that as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the street animals and the stray dogs and stray cats, Well yeah, they nourish, they replenish your soul and, like a therapy, you don't need to pay a therapist, you can just uh hang around in the city square and then you can just uh hang around in the city square and you can just hang around with the stray dogs and stray cats anybody who's listening.
Speaker 1:If you're gonna follow sergi on instagram, you will always see an instagram story where he found a new cat friend that just like, snuggled into his lab and spent the afternoon there, which is absolutely so cute yeah, and it calms, it soothes down your nervous system, and in the west we're continuously, we are, we're overstressed, we, we are, we are hurrying just to have some rest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this kind of society wasn't for me and that's why I'm here in bulgaria, which everything is more laid back, relaxed and my immune system can relax here more, and, which is for me one of the most important things to feel safe and safety. When there is safety, you can live again. You don't have to go into survival mode every day, like I was in the west. I was continuously in survival mode and I rushed back to home just to have some peace of mind and rest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you would say that bulgaria offers you both a physical safe space and also a more emotionally safe space yes, here the that's true.
Speaker 2:The people are, they are, they don't care. They don't care what you do, how you look like and and therefore there's less. Uh, ego is a good thing, but not the ego which is I don't know how you call it which is like a blown up ego. How do you call it Blown up?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like a big ego, like we're inflated, an inflated ego.
Speaker 2:Yeah, an inflated ego just to, yeah, just to hide their insecurities, this kind of ego, and you don't have that. Obviously, you have that everywhere, but here it's less. And yeah, just to hide their insecurities, this kind of ego, and here you don't have that. Obviously, you have that everywhere, but here is less and there are less people. So you have more space and yeah, and I just wish that for everyone. This safety, it's very important, because it's not all about the universe and this, and that it's about reality as well. In Krav Maga as well, you cannot wish when there's an aggressor, you cannot wish this person away when he's attacking you. You have to do something.
Speaker 1:You're learning Bulgarian, you're running your own business. Now you want to integrate in society. You do everything to integrate in society, not to be just and only with the expat community. I've moved countries many times. Also loud whisper intuition saying may cindy pack your bags and you go. I think a lot of people from the outside always look at it oh my god, it's amazing and they romanticize the idea of moving country. But it actually comes with a lot of challenges and those challenges are both and professional and just personal, like finding a new group of friends and stuff. Can we first talk about you finding new friends and a circle of people that you feel like? Oh, you know what? I'm becoming closer and closer with these people and they they're becoming my local tribe here yeah.
Speaker 2:So the famous uh gabber mate psychotherapist, gamut gamut day is talking about two very important instincts. So the first instinct is to belong in a group, yeah. And the second important instinct is to be authentic in your own way. And most of the times in society, they, they, they clash. So what a lot of people do. They give up their own individuality, their identity, their authenticity to belong in a group, but that doesn't make you happy in the end. So what a lot of people do, just to belong, they go where. Yeah, they go where when. If there's people speaking english, they just automatically go there, which is not a bad thing, but they do that most of the times subconsciously, just to belong.
Speaker 2:And I realized this like, okay, but I want to learn bulgarian as well, I want to integrate, so I want to be authentic to myself. So I said to myself okay, so maybe you're going to be back in the days. Was was like a couple of words and sentences and that was it. So I felt I didn't have a like a very in-depth conversation in the beginning, and that's, you feel lonely too. Sometimes you just want to talk in your own native language. Uh, but I knew I, I I put through and I said to myself, okay, I, I the word. The rewards of the language we're learning, the bulgarian, will be amazing after a couple of months, at least a couple, a half a year.
Speaker 2:And I can give you an example I, I, I saw, I, I saw, when I passed by the, the town hall, I saw a, a lot of people dancing in the town hall and I was like, oh, they're doing folk dancing. I want to do that too, but I'm scared. I don't know where to go. I don't understand where I have to find this kind of information. Who should I ask? Everything is Bulgarian and no expat or nomad have done these dances, these classes. So I went just in the town and I just spoke to anyone and like, asked them like, hey, where can I learn how to dance? And they were looking at me like you're a foreigner and it's you're the first one who was asking you. It's weird. So I felt a bit awkward. But then in the end I found the teacher and she said to me like, unfortunately there are no beginners classes, but they are intermediate classes and you can join and you can see. I'm like, oh, okay, I thought beginners, okay, I can handle that, but now intermediate.
Speaker 2:So I went to the first intermediate class and everyone was looking like what is this Blanca guy doing here? He's not Bulgarian, it's very obvious. So I felt everyone is looking at me, I felt uncomfortable and I thought that's normal. I have to scan my environment. It's the first time that I was there in this group and will they accept me? You know all these basic fears and I said to myself I just will shut up, I will just learn the dance, just attend the classes. And yeah, now I'm like in my 15th class and some people say like now you can lead the class for a joke because I am like. They say like hey, you're like Bulgarian, dance like a Bulgarian.
Speaker 2:So I created this safety, this safe space for myself and I I think most of the time people, when they move to another country, they're looking for, for a safe space and then they, they look good, they go for the familiar things, the, the western culture where I grew up in and you grew up in. So everything that is yeah, not that culture is like strange and scared of the unknown. Yeah, that's uh, I, I intuitively know these kind of things, but sometimes you have to. It's too much and you have to build in safe spaces like for yourself. Maybe there's some advice for people want to move and want to integrate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for me that's such a beautiful story because obviously I am a dancer, I have a background as a dancer and dance allowed me to build many friendships around the world and obviously you not being a professional dancer at all but dance is a way to connect to another human being on a soul level and for me that's also a magnificent story of how powerful just dance is yeah, you don't have to use words, right yeah, exactly, oh, it's, uh, yeah yeah, it's things I can recommend if you want to.
Speaker 2:Most of the times, like this typical western way like, yeah, I should go to a classroom and and go attend to a class, and that, and and and. This way I can, I can integrate, and that's it. But no, it's about this kind of thing as well. Yeah, but you have to go through the fear bubble and yeah, sometimes it's too much, and then you go to your safe space and then you can go back, not always pushing yourself, because there's like a toxic resiliency movement going on as well. Like, yeah, you should push and push. Yes, that's true, but sometimes you have to listen to yourself. And, yeah, cuddle with cats and go to take a warm bath instead of a cold bath, which is fine too, to do that.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, ser sergi, for sharing your story, your thoughts. If people want to know more about your tours in bulgaria or want to be coached because I know that you coach people as well on how to go and live there, where can they find you on instagram so my instagram handle is sergey underscore bulgaria and the website is wwwauthentic slash bulgaria dot com. I'll definitely share it in the episode notes as well. Thank you so much, sergei, for this beautiful interview.
Speaker 2:Thank you for the space of giving me the space to talk.
